Ways of taking advantage of political correctness. To boost your career prospects


Now that political correctness has become an ideology of sorts for so many people, it’s time to look at some of the ways of taking advantage of PC, to boost your career prospects, make some good money and generally improve your social standing.

How about becoming obsessively passionate about human rights (HR), to get noticed by the politically correct fraternity? Even though HR nowadays mostly benefit people who are on the wrong side of the law, or who indulge themselves in terrorism and all sorts of perverse activities with minors, it is still a major pillar of the PC ideology. So go for it, warning how dangerous it is to ignore human rights, especially of minorities. Form an action group or a charity and raise money to spread awareness about the importance of HR. Write a book, two books in fact, about how strongly you feel about HR, peppering them with quotes by great people, and they will sell out. And you’ll be praised all over the world and might even receive the Nobel Peace Prize, or some other prize. You can bang on about democracy as well, but human rights are a slicker, sexier subject, sending them PC freaks into a real frenzy.

And don’t forget multiculturalism. Oh no, not this handy product of political correctness that has boosted the careers of many people who would otherwise not have even made a blip on the social radar. Choose some irrelevant nation, in the middle of nowhere, and start promoting its culture, even if it hasn’t got any. Bang on about the need to learn how people in your chosen nation get together in the evening and dance around the fire, wearing nothing but a smile, or sing in high-pitched voices, with their privates squeezed hard. Insist that nude dancing and high-pitched singing in this place dates back to the Stone Age and has influenced a lot of modern music – which will be true, by the way. Trust me, your voice will be heard and your call will be picked up by thousands of nutters who see culture everywhere, even while sitting on the bog. In no time you’ll have a serious number of supporters and you can launch a charity and start raising money to save the vanishing tradition of nude dancing around the fire and loud singing with genitals squeezed. And who knows, you might even get a grant from the European Union or the United Nations that waste public money on PC causes with no reservations. A book deal may come up and a documentary may follow, making you quite wealthy in the process.

Man-made climate change is a wonderful PC idea to adopt and prosper on. There is so much money to be made on man-made climate change, if you show proper dedication and passion, that it is quite possible that you may become a multi-millionaire eventually, like Al Gore did and many others like him. People will support you in whatever you’d be doing, pushing your cause as hard as they can. Governments will throw ridiculous money at you; TV appearances will become regular; books deals will be offered; and you will be invited to speak in front of large audiences for astronomical fees. Sure, you’ll be meeting a lot of strange people, but you will find that getting laid won’t be a problem, as most man-made climate change fanatics are horny as rabbits. The beauty of the whole thing is that you’ll be able to live without any consideration for climate change, as the people who promote it are actually some of the biggest polluters themselves.

Bashing religion has become an integral part of political correctness, with some people making an absolute fortune out of it, using the freedom of expression and human rights to silence anyone who tells them to shut their filthy traps. As a declared atheist, you’ll be able to say whatever you want, behaving like a wild beast and still getting all the support and understanding of fellow atheists. If you decide to write a book bashing religion or make a similarly tasteful film, or even a cartoon with some serious blasphemy in it, expect success and loads of money and awards coming your way. Just look at Family Guy and the fortune it made for its weird-looking creators, all PC freaks. One important point to remember here that having ago at Islam is a no-no. That might end badly for you.

Turning into a devout feminist may work wonders for you. Here the opportunities are endless. Feminism is on the rise now and anyone who comes across as strong on gender equality gets all the supports he or she would want. Male feminists are in great demand by the militant part of the sisterhood, as their presence in the struggle is another confirmation how disgusting males can be tamed by proper education and small benefits on the side. The feminist movement is very vocal, outlandishly politically correct and is gradually taking over politics and business in liberal democracies. Financial prospect in spinning the feminist spin are enormous.

Other causes that the PC community supports are: legalisation of drugs: criminals to be treated like victims of social injustice; lowering the age of sexual consent to 12 or 10 while treating paedophiles as people who are victims of their urges and not the sick and twisted bastards that they are in reality. You are advised to show disregard for classical music and classical literature and all things classical generally while toasting modern and especially post-modern art in all its hideousness. It’s also a good idea to bash common sense a lot, as the PC fraternity finds that it is uncomfortable and demeaning to its views.

So go for it, use political correctness to your advantage, but do beware that you will have to mix with some pretty crazy lot and you may even find that the shit they say can become contagious.