Cats are always right-wing. Dogs copy their owners


It might come as a shock to the people of left-wing persuasion who keep cats as pets that they are all staunch right-wingers. Yes, that is how Mother Nature, who is actually right-wing herself, has created them.

Cats value personal liberty above everything else and even if you feed them with food from your table and spoil them rotten with delicacies, and let them sleep wherever they want, which they will do anyway, and roam around the house freely they will still be tempted to leave you in search of a different environment, if you are stubbornly left-wing and live accordingly. You know, always talk loudly, laugh like a hyena, often for no reason or over banalities and bad jokes, and have guests around who talk about rubbish like evolution, man-made climate change or battling racism and discrimination while having no manners. Not to mention, of course, try to stroke your cat and talk to it in a silly babyish voice, as if it would not understand it if people tell it things in a normal way. Emancipated left-wing chicks absolutely terrify cats by their loud in your face ways of communication, rudeness and total lack of manners. Female and make cats, you see, know that the they are totally different and have different needs and interests and it seems absurd to them that some humans think that the two sexes are exactly alike and should even strive to look exactly the same. This is considered crazy in the cat world.

Left-wingers also have a bad vibe in their homes, increased by all the stupidity said and done under its roof, and cats don’t like too much of a bad vibe. The can absorb it, if it comes in reasonable volumes and even cleanse the house from it, but once this vibe goes over a certain level, they start to feel unwell and may even die.

Cats are healers because of their ability to absorb bad energy, so people who have a weak health and are prone to depressions should always keep a cat. But if they are left-wing, they need to understand that their cat will be feeling the pressures that arise from it and it needs to be allowed to spend more time outside. And they should not be surprised if they disappear one day, finding a home with a solid right-wing environment or live in the wild.

Cats don’t like big government and by that I mean that they despise the way some people run their households as if they are miniature tyrannies where everyone is supposed to follow orders, even if they are stupid. Cats refuse to accept authority over them not because they are anarchists, as some people claim, but because they know that humans are not very good at running their households properly and don’t really understand the animal kingdom generally, and left-wingers especially. The idea that animals are exact replicas of humans, having the same ancestors, as the great charlatan Charles Darwin claimed, seems absurd to cats that laugh at this loony theory like all proper right-wingers do. That is why they often pretend to follow their owners’ commands but actually do how they see it best.

Cats’ devotion to their owners, if they really like them, is absolutely remarkable. Consider this: they actually have the ability to physically see our illnesses and often lie right beside their owners or even on top of them when they, the owners, are unwell, draining away the bad energy. And, as I said already, they often take the hit for their owners when the bad vibes in the house rise dramatically and they are no longer able to absorb them without lethal consequences for themselves.

And one last thing that proves that cats are absolutely awesome: they are the only animals in the world and in history of mankind that are allowed into places of worship. No other animal is allowed to do that, not even dogs, supposedly man’s best friend. That says a lot.

Dogs, as opposed to cats, don’t hold firm political views and can be on the right or on the left, depending on the views of their owners. The don’t feel the bad vibes of left-wing ideology or bad vibes generally and are happy to accept big government, i.e. intrusion into their live, if given food regularly and takes out for a piss three times a day. Dogs even accept that they might be related to humans, if their owners aspire to that idiocy. And they are very loyal to their owners and can demonstrate remarkable devotion and even sacrifice.

But dogs are not as cool as cats. Just like lefties are not as cool as right-wingers. And that is how Mother Nature made them.