Rumours surface about Joe Biden joining the stand-up comedy circuit


Wild unsubstantiated rumours, the sort the liberal left spread about US President Donald Trump and his family and friends, have surfaced in Washington and beyond that former Democratic vice president Joe Biden has joined the stand-up comedy circuit and has already performed several times, doing his routine “Joe’s Story In His Own Words”. The venues were not packed, as word has it, but had a healthy 30 per cent occupancy, which is not at all bad for a stand-up comedy act in its infancy.

Suspicions that Mr Biden might opt for a career in comedy started to appear very soon after he was sworn in as US Vice President for his first term. His hilarious appearances beside former President Barack Obama, and by himself, his constant gaffs and routines in the Senate, where he often entertained the crowd with his impressions of some of the Senators by pulling silly faces during important speeches, were huge crowd pleasers. The US Senate is a very boring and dreary place most of the time, so any distraction from the tedious proceedings were always welcome.

Mr Biden excelled himself during the last State of the Union address, delivered by Mr Obama, when rumours that the then Vice President was opting for a career in stand-up really hit fever pitch. It was an extraordinary comedy routine. While Mr Obama was trying to impress Americans with his fancy reading from the autocue, Mr Biden was sitting behind him, alongside his nemesis, Speaker of the House of Representatives, Republican John Boehner. The VP was smiling wider than usual, horsing around and making very funny obscene gestures to people in the hall, so that most of the audience was looking at him rather than at Obama. Word had it that Biden even passed a scribbled note to the Democratic minority leader, Nancy Pelosi, telling her he had no underwear on that day and was open to suggestions. This is an unsubstantiated rumour but it sounds very plausible, as Biden was known for his unique way of handling women, including in public when he groped and hugged and kissed them in places and in ways for which ordinary men-folk usually got busted and ended up before a judge.

When Mr Biden announced in 2016 that he would not be running for the presidency, most seasoned observers and analysts concluded that he must have had a deal ready, to join the comedy circuit, having showed some serious comedy potential during the whole eight years as VP.

“Joe was always a natural, a born comedian” one Washington insider told Scoop. “He’s great at entraining small compact crowds, he always says the most hilarious things with a perfectly straight face and he has been just a heartbeat away from the presidency for eight long years, something that taught him a lot.”

Mr Biden himself was not available for comment to Scoop, but a friend of his who asked to be just called as ‘a friend of his’, told us that yes, it was true, that Secret Service agents were given an order to shoot him dead, in case Mr Obama would suddenly kick the bucket. “Joe treated it in good spirit,” his friend said. “But he did like to inquire about Obama’s state of health, in a non-intrusive sort of way. Which was understandable for a man in his position.”

According to people, who have allegedly attended Mr Biden’s stand-up performances, he talks candidly about his years in politics and reveals that he was the real brains and the driving force behind President Obama, who always asked his advice on matters of policy, what to wear on important occasions and how to handle Michelle when she would go on a bender for several days with her girlfriends and come back to the White House angry as a chimera. Biden also reveals that if her were black and Obama were white, their roles would have been reversed and he, Biden, would have been president while Obama would have been his vice president.

It appears that Mr Biden reads his whole comedy routine form the prepared notes, in a way befitting a seasoned Washington politician, which the crowd finds hysterical. He also does a great impersonation of Hillary Clinton on heat and of Bill Clinton when he lied about not having sexual relations with that woman.

A big future in comedy beckons for this former political lightweight.