Could it be that Barack and Michelle are contemplating the D-word?


Could it be true that Barrack and Michelle are going through a rough post-White House patch as husband and wife, spending lots of time away from each other and even contemplating the D-word? That’s the Obamas, in case you’re confused and bewildered and know of many other couples where the name ‘Barack’ and ‘Michelle’ feature prominently together.

The latest rumour is that the once most powerful couple in the world are getting ready to split, possibly next year, by the time everyone would forget that Mr Obama was ever in the White House. He did sort of spring out of nowhere, if you recall how he appeared on the scene back in February 2007 when he announced his intention to run for the presidency, so it’s only natural that people will soon forget he ever existed. A community organiser from Chicago, we were told then, who got elected to the US Senate on the strength of God knows what achievements. Although after he won the race to the White House, beating Senator John McCain, we all found out that his place in the Senate was offered for $1 million in cash. Does this say anything about Mr Obama? Hard to tell, because word has it that some other seta in US Congress have been offered for money as well, so it’s not something extraordinary in US politics.

But back to the Obamas and the D-word they are supposedly toying with. Scoop found out from insiders in Washington, who wished to remain anonymous and just be called ‘insiders in Washington’ in our report, that B and M were just pretending to be a happy couple during the last three years of their residency in the White House and that Michelle even got her divorce papers all ready as far back as 2012, But then again, some of these insiders were saying in the past that she was actually a man, so can they be trusted? Anyway, these people tell us that Mr Obama wants to stay in Washington DC, but Mrs Obama has other ideas. And that sort of implies that they might be parting company soon, even if they remain married on paper.

Rumours about the state of marriage of the Obamas were raging ever since the Mandela funeral in December 2013, where Mr Obama was behaving like a horny teenager, flirting with the then blonde Danish PM at the memorial service in Johannesburg, of all places. Mrs Obama was registered as getting seriously angry with her husband then, giving him the look. It was a signal to the keen Obama watchers that something was not right about the marriage of the US First Couple. And from then on the spotlight of celebrity gossipers was firmly fixed on the Obamas, to register any signs that they were growing apart, as it is usually called.

All sorts of things were noticed. President Obama’s obsessive love of golf was seen as an opportunity to run off from the White House, spending time in the company of males, who similarly pretended to love golf as a means of escaping from their spouses. That fact that Obama never actually learned to play the game properly was seen as proof that it was all a charade and that spending time with Michelle had become a drag for him.

Some observers who asked Scoop to be simply mentioned as ‘observers says that the problem in Obama’s marriage was caused by the fact that Mrs Obama was much more intelligent than her husband and could actually address the crowds without peering into her notes or reading from them slavishly, like Mr Obama liked to do. And that caused a rift between them because some people were saying that it was Michelle who should have run for president and her husband should have stayed as Senator. An important point was made about Mr Obama’s pimp roll swagger that he developed in his days as community organiser in Chicago, where most brothers walk like that, in protest against white domination, while Mrs Obama had a much more presentable swan-like method of walking, which suited the Commander-in-Chief better.

Serious experts says that the pressures on couples who spend eight years in the White House living with a burden of responsibility that comes with their position do tend to put marriages through testing times. Bill Clinton, for example, during his two terms in the White house had to keep his marriage going by having sex with impressionable trainees, sometimes in the Oval Office, during his phone conversations with other world leaders. George W Bush before him started a war to save his marriage, because it distracted him from all those thought of hitting the bottle and doing a line of coke before breakfast, two habits that could have ruined his marriage easily. .

Now that the Obamas need not worry about their daughters, who are old enough to be photographed smoking a joint and not being bothered how in impacts on their parents, they can spend a lot of time away from each other and enjoy their new wealth that is growing so rapidly that they may soon join the Gateses and the Buffetts and start giving money away to poor people, but in way that keeps their fortunes intact, like the Gateses and the Buffets do that. Mr Obama still loves to play his golf for days on end Mrs Obama has been seen enjoying lifting weights, but a feminine way, confronting all those nasty people who claim she is a man.

It is still hard to tell whether the Obamas would opt for the D-word. Luckily for them, though, the American public might not even notice if they do.