How to succeed on Social Media. Tips for bloggers with ambitions


Yes, having a blog on Social Media is a great way for millions to get noticed, by getting as many followers, friends and favs and likes, to then boast about it at every given opportunity. These days if you’re not on Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin you’re seen as a bit of a retard. And for people, who want to come across as living dangerously, there is Gab, where everyone posts pretty much the same stuff as everywhere else but it is done in a rebellious sort of way as it advertisers itself as a platform where you can talk freely about subject, even though its domain is registered on Google that does not like people to get ideas.

Anyway, the first and most important rule of making it big on Social Media is that you have to be politically correct as hell. You should not stray way from PC under any circumstances. One wrong step and you might blow your chances. And you have to be left-wing, of course. Boy oh boy, do you need to be left-wing to succeed on Social Media that is run by people who like their mornings to start with readings from Karl Marx, Vladimir Lenin, Chairman Mao and Lucifer. That is how loony left they all are and they prefer their users to be like that as well.

Don’t even think of being right of centre, plain centre or a fan of common sense. Forget common sense! It is foes very old people who stink of urine and have bad teeth. Left and extreme left is where you need to be, or at least pretend to be, if you want to achieve fame on Social Media and be respected for your wisdom, foresight, sense of humour and a feel for what is going on out there. It is cool to be an idiot these days so go for it. And have a really silly avatar and reveal on it that you are so left you would fall off the perch if you move another inch to the left. And think of climate change daily, a dozen times an hour at least. And that you’re an atheist or, if you want to be seen as sophisticated, an agnostic, which is exactly the same thing but sounds more mysterious.

Yes, a bit of blasphemy won’t hurt your chances of becoming popular on Social Media. You wouldn’t believe what blasphemy does for some people on Facebook and Twitter and Gab where you talk freely about things. They have tens of thousands of followers, even hundreds of thousands. Blasphemy on Social Media attracts people in droves, in herds, in armies.

Stating the blindingly obvious, in a politically correct sort of way, is a must if you are planning on making a serious impact on Social Media. Lots and lots of people love the blindingly obvious, with a PC twist. It makes them feel safe, comfortable in the knowledge that others think the same way as they do. So if you post anything denouncing racism or sexism or homophobia, in a passionate repetitive way, expect to be praised and seriously understood by many thousands and get those follower figures going up..

Bashing anyone who even remotely sounds conservative, even if he or she are dead, is a great way to acquire friends and followers on Social Media. Yep, if you have a go at Ronald Reagan, who is dead in case you don’t know it, or Margaret Thatcher, who is dead as well, you’ll have a lot of clout among people who love this sort of thing. These days it’s very cool to have a go at US President Donald Trump or at Brexit, as both are seriously disliked by people who set the trends Social Media. Putting in a good word for Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton would look good on your blog and attract lots of people who seriously like them as well.

Manifesting your obsession with computer games is a great way to attract large followings on Social Media. Even if you don’t play or play not that often, bang on about the latest games and how great they are and how you spend hours playing them and you will be understood and supported by the gamers on Social Media of whom there are millions there. These people are seriously addicted to gaming and when they have the time they browse on Social Media in search of like-mined folks like themselves. These days people who have no life are called games, not TV addicts as it was just a decade ago.

Discussing celebs and stuff on the box, with passion and feeling, is another great way to make an impact on Social Media. Lots and lots of people are seriously attracted to any passionate comments about celebs and crap on the box. And if you have anything passionate to say about sports, that would make you even more popular.

Repeating news that you have picked up from the box or the papers is another way to get attention, as more and more people on Social Media seem to be treating anyone who posts bits of mainstream news as well connected and sophisticated.

Cuddly animals are a great subject to talk about as well. Cuddly animals are a safe bet these days, so you can really go over the top with it, posting those images over and over again. The likes alone would be reaching many thousand.

So go for it! Be as unimaginative, bland and politically correct as you can and start getting the star treatment on Social Media.